So you sent your first letter and got an answer. How to write the following messages correctly? What to pay attention to when reading incoming messages? How to continue or stop communicating? These and some other questions we'll discuss in this chapter.
Chatting with a view to a real meeting
People making a contact via e-mail are usually separated by thousands of kilometers. However the distance is not an obstacle for real feelings. Do you want to make a connection between you and the woman you liked strong? Hope to turn your virtual communication to real one day? Then try for one thing to write the letters she'll be pleased to answer.
In the second-third letter detail the goal of your acquaintance. If you became a web-site user out of curiosity or to improve your English, don't hide it from your conversation partner.
Don't be afraid of asking about a lady's goal at the web-site. It will be a pity if you find out after a long period of chatting that your expectations regarding the development of relationship are not actually the same.
In the beginning of your communication you can freely tell the truth about your age if you have hidden it before for some reasons. A woman interested in you will hardly stop communicating on learning that you are older or younger.
At the same time you really should discuss religious affiliation. Let's assume that you are a Muslim, and she is a Christian. Is there any sense in creating a long-term connection when it will probably be difficult for you to agree on the main world-view concepts? It's highly questionable… And marriage between partners from different religious concessions is often impossible for a score of reasons.
Another problem of international partnership is the man or woman having physical defects (serious chronic diseases). Won't it be hard for you to get over a break-up, if a lady you fall in love with stops favoring you because of your state of health? It happens by far not always (a soul is usually more important for Russian women that a body), although it's better to prevent the trouble than to suffer afterwards.
In the beginning of communication people are rather official towards each other. E-mail chatting is not an exception. However, almost every person will be glad if he is treated with warmth. Don't be afraid to be open. It will be great if every new letter between you and your partner promotes more confidential relationship.
On receiving a good and kind message from you a lady will most probably want to see another one too, so she'll hurry up and answer. Almost everyone likes to feel positive emotions.
In first letters you can find out what a lady thinks about your jokes. If she understands and approves of them, keep using your sense of humor. You can speak a little bit ironically of yourself and tell fun stories from your life. However, shouldn't offend your conversation partner with sting remarks, because it's extremely hard to follow emotional disposition of your correspondent.
Do you suspect the author of showing some emotions? Alas… It's just your imagination. It can coincide with real state of affairs or be completely different from it.
So, if you are very interested as for what a lady feels in this or that situation, don't guess, just ask her. Besides, you can make it easier for her to get the content of your stories if you use smiley faces or icons/marks standing for them.
Always show your joy considering communication with a lady. Tell compliments. It's desirable that you not repeat yourself. Be creative. Every woman has a lot of merits. Keep on discovering even new sides of perfection in her.
It will be great if you let a woman see you from different angles. Send her pictures or videos of you.
If you think, you must remember a story from your life, when you helped somebody and got attached to that person. Why not use this quality of human character? Let a lady do you a favor, for example, help you understand the meaning of some Russian expressions. You shouldn't bother her much in order not to scare her off, though.
Do you want to get letters regularly? Than keep the conversation tempo yourself. Answer messages as fast as possible. It will be great if you are able to manage it in one-two days. After that period ladies are no more interested in chatting with a silent recent acquaintance.
Admire your conversation partner, but don't lose yourself. Representatives of the fair sex rarely value men without dignity and self-respect. Numerous apologies and self-humiliation have never done good to anyone. If you happened to offend a lady, apologize, but don't dwell on this matter.
Message written in a commanding or demanding tone is also a no-win variant. Such strategy attracts only those women who subconsciously feel the need to be a victim. Are you looking for a victim or just inwardly free woman?
Chat positively. A large amount of unpleasant information is supplied by mass media, and good news is not that frequent. So let your conversation partner feel positive emotions through your communication. Then she won't look for another person and will choose you hoping for happiness.
Pay attention to everything a woman tells about her. Ask questions concerning the things you've read in her letters. If you have similar hobbies, discuss them too.
There is no need to tell everything about you in the beginning of your communication. Give a lady the opportunity to get to know you gradually. If you want to intrigue a woman, finish our stories at the most interesting moment. Let her wait for your next message with impatience and curiosity.
Stir up her interest. The better you manage to do it, the sooner a lady will want to hear you over the phone or even meet you.
How to determine communication prospects?
Men communicating with several women at the same time do right in many respects. Virtual connection may break in the beginning easily. It can be initiated by both ladies and gentlemen equally.
How to determine, whether your acquaintance is promising or not? Let's talk about it. We'll suppose that you are looking for a long-term partner, because in other cases the question of your future together is not that acute.
If a person is craving for emotional connection, he/she often idealizes the image of his new acquaintance and sees that person differently, not like he/she is in real life. And here disappointment comes. So, try to pay maximum attention to the things your conversation partner tells you about.
Let us describe several variants of course of events.
A lady answers your questions rarely and unwillingly. Her messages are reserved. She doesn't tell about her life and almost always ignores direct questions.
This lady is most likely not interested in communicating with you. She may hold you as an extra variant for the case of a break-up with someone else.
From the first letter your lady talks a lot about material things. After a while shamelessly asks for presents or hints at financial problems. If you tell her about your modest income, she'll lose interest.
Partnership will thrive if you are a prosperous and generous man. However, your doubts as for lucrative motives on the part of a woman are not unfounded.
A lady communicates with you with great pleasure. She is ready to sympathize and comfort. Shows her ability to be caring and tender. Doesn't accept the same courtesies on your part.
Happy union is possible, if you are looking for mother-like woman who will often treat you like a child. You prefer dominating and being equal? Then you need to look for another lady for your future relationship.
A lady regardless of her age behaves as a little girl. She is always embarrassed. Refuses to talk sincerely about important things. Can't think logically. Doesn't know what she really wants. Likes when you call her pet names. Judging from her stories, she can't deal with life troubles.
Do you hope to find a person demanding increased attention and extra care? Such ladies help some men to show their manliness in a powerful and intense way. Are you a supporter of patriarchy? Then you have a chance to find happiness with this forever-little lady. Don't want to be a father for your partner? Then keep looking.
With every letter you realize even more that opinions (your and a lady's) are the same on many questions. Many of your world perception aspects coincide. A woman stays in touch. You like not only her looks, but also her personality. You haven't caught her lying even once. She doesn't ask for something special and is ready to discuss various topics. You are willing to meet her.
If it really is as described above, then you can possibly have amazing future with this woman.
It would be strange to think that no variants except for the enumerated are possible. People have lots of psychological traits and are not always predictable. Moreover, personality of every person undergoes changes in the course of time and life can work miracles.
It may happen that you and your conversation partner will feel something more than just liking and work real magic building a strong partner relationship in spite of some misunderstanding. Although, it's easier to get in contact with a woman who matches you.
But let's assume you decided that you were not created for each other. How to end communication?
How to stop communication properly and with tact?
To stop contacting with a person you don't like. What can be easier, one would think… However many people are afraid of behaving indelicately.
"What if I hurt her feelings", many men say and continue burdensome and distressing communication…
Just think, is it better to keep contacting and give a lady hope for more? Would YOU prefer insincere communication? In some cases you have to act decisively, after the principal of a surgery which is painful but vital.
However, if you can't use this method for any reason, try to use other ones.
First of all, you can answer lady's massages rarely. If you write her even rarer and rarer, she lose her interest in a while.
Secondly, finding in you unattractive traits a lady will be disappointed and will probably want to end your relationship. If you are not afraid of censure, show some aspects of the dark side of your personality.
Thirdly, different opinions on life values will make a lady think about ending your communication. Your priorities are really different? Why not tell it openly.
The fourth method lies in acting by contraries. It allows to get rid of unneeded virtual relationships quite often despite seeming contradictory. For a woman to stop communicating, you can become extremely persistent and annoying. Flood her with monotonous, boring and impersonal letters and you will definitely be turned down. This method is not very attractive but it's effective.
The best method is individual. Only you can find the right words turning to your kind attitude and sincerity. After all, you can become not spouses or lovers, but friends.
But still, let's imagine that you like your virtual partner more and more. May be the communication with the help of letters has run its course and it's time you moved to another stage?
From letters to other communication types
What can be a reason to move from letter chatting to communication over the phone or via video-chat? A growing mutual interest and concurring opinions on important questions. It's better to discuss such questions in a written form, first. You must discuss the following: attitude to religion, having or not having children and parenthood prospects, interests and hobbies, financial standing, understanding of role functions of a man and a woman, habits and likings, political views, health, attitude to sex, possible criminal past.
Do you exchange messages with great pleasure? Your life concepts are similar? The letters become even warmer and mutual interest more intense? Then may be you should initiate a little bit more real relationship.