Virtual communication with a woman you like calls for a next, more serious stage? You want to meet her in person? Then you'll probably use the information given in this chapter.
World view and ideology of Slavic women somewhat differ from those you got used to. Life style of Russian-speaking representatives of the fair sex also doesn't coincide with yours in many respects. It bothers you and you can't choose a place for the first live meeting? We'll try to give some tips that will help you to get rid of groundless fears and make the right decision on the question. We'll advise you how to impress a woman and ensure psychological comfort for the time of the first meeting.
You can have a date in any place, but you should know that Slavic women think that a man with serious intentions comes to the country where his possible bride lives for a real meeting.
Trip to the bride's country
When going to the country of the woman you like, you shouldn't count on the level of living you are accustomed to. In Russia and Ukraine living standards are much lower than in Western countries.
Preparation for the trip
You should discuss the financial question of your forthcoming trip with your bride at the message stage. Ask her to tell you about prices for goods and services in her country. Don't be ashamed of talking about money. Many Slavic women have to save money and are okay with this topic. The lady will understand you.
Don't feel uncomfortable, especially if you are not that rich. Average level of income of Russians and Ukrainians is not very high, so your financial possibilities will probably exceed those of your bride.
Some women (but by no means all) even when having financial difficulties consider it their duty to invite the fiance to stay at their apartment. You shouldn't hamper her and create problems. Hotel stay is the best decision. Good Russian and Ukrainian hotels provide rather decent services. Hotel employees are very friendly and nice toward foreigners.
In order not to think much about arrangement of your life in a foreign country, go there with the help of specialists from a travel agency. Buying a tour you'll free yourself from the headache concerning settling and accommodation questions. Moreover, coming to Russia or Ukraine as a tourist you can provide yourself with some entertainment program in case your bride is occupied.
When going to your lady's country make an approximate plan of your stay there. It's especially important if you decide not to use services of travel agencies and prefer experiencing charms and drawbacks of a self-guided tour.
Include sight-seeing, studying of national peculiarities, acquaintance with friends and family of your bride, etc. in your list.
You must purchase air tickets and prepare all necessary documents in advance. It will be a pity if your trip falls through because you've missed something. Leave execution of documents to professionals and set to other trip preparations.
Write down and take with you all possible contacts of the lady (mobile and home numbers, address). Make a copy of your notes and leave it to your relatives.
If you are not too healthy, take medicines with you. You shouldn't expect to buy them in Russia or Ukraine, although it's possible in most cases. However you'd better secure yourself than to risk.
Ask the lady about the weather in her country which is typical for the time of your prospective trip. Take clothes according to woman's recommendations.
You'll need a camera not only to take pictures of sights. In a couple of years you and your lady may happen to look at the images of important for you both moments.
You'll make your bride glad if you bring her souvenirs. Does your lady have children? Make sure you bring presents for them as well. The lady will definitely appreciate this impulse. What to buy as a present? Items of folk craft, things with symbols of your city, colorful books or video discs about your country, customs and traditions.
Where will your first meeting happen? The lady will probably want to come to the airport or railway station to the time of your arrival. You've agreed to meet elsewhere? It happens as well. In any case, it's very exciting and thrilling to meet each other in person after a long virtual communication.
The first meeting with a woman you like is stress. Trip to a foreign country is a stress as well. Many people are used to considering this state negative. However, psychological studies show the opposite.
In stressful situation a person becomes more careful than usually. He gathers himself up, separates himself easier from secondary things, focuses on the most important. To counteract stress means doing harm to your health and psyche.
Don't be afraid of this condition, but use it to your advantage. Take it as essential and meet the situation.
If you can't put yourself together and deal with ordinary stuff, then stress has gone beyond admissible limits. In such cases you need to take measures. Make deep breaths counting ins and outs. Remember something pleasant and nice from your previous experiences. Meditate. In short, use some relaxation techniques.
Then put yourself in lady's place. She is probably worried, too. And besides worrying she may also feel responsible for how it goes as she is an accepting party. It's more difficult for her, isn't it?
There is nothing to be afraid of, though. Supposing, you didn't like each other enough for starting a permanent serious relationship. What's wrong about it? You gain in any case acquiring experience and possibly a friend in her.
So, you arrived and saw the lady meeting you. Show your joy, smiling. Don't be surprised if she stays calm. Slavic women often hide their real emotions. It's usually typical of women living in regions with rather severe climate.
Talk to your lady about simple things (the weather, flight conditions, etc.). Agree on time and place of the date and go to the hotel without protracting the time of your first meeting. Let the lady to take a breath and have a rest yourself. The date can be set to that evening (if your arrival time allows) or the next one.
On the first real date discuss the program of your visit with the lady. She may adjust your plans. However, the majority of Slavic women consider man's wishes readily. Feminism is not very popular in Russia and Ukraine. For historical reasons Russian women put their hopes on men in many regards and believe them.
Try to show maturity and don't demand much of your possible bride. Take into account not high living standards in the country, modest income of the lady and other details. By the way, the things you see as "details" or "trifles" may not be such for the lady.
The lady asked you to visit her home? Now you can see her in her usual atmosphere. Notice how she treats her family. Look at the books and disks at shelves. What does she like to read about? What movies does she watch? What music does she listen to? Ask yourself these questions and be attentive. Thus you'll learn a lot about your bride.
Does her life style fits with your ideas? Is she ready to change her habitual way of living? Ask her about it. Don't waste your time and discuss everything you'd like to know. Leave usual standards and don't wait for a desired understanding to come by itself. Imagine that it's not a woman, but an alien in front of you and you want to come to an agreement with her. This approach will let you discover many things. Discuss everything including national, social and other aspects that interest you. Concealment is not the best way to a long-term relationship.
Your stay in the bride's country
Your stay in the foreign country can be a pleasure or an exciting adventure, but sometimes it becomes an ordeal.
May the trip turn out the best for you! We've prepared several recommendations that, we hope, will help you stay in Russia and Ukraine with maximum comfort.
Russian women are usually active, educated, beautiful and brought-up in the spirit of the necessity to care about her family. A Slavic woman can really become a perfect wife, but a man wanting it needs to be ready to overcome cultural, language and psychological barriers. Establishing a relationship with a lady you shouldn't choose a waiting position. You'd better make some steps forward and don't be afraid of looking funny or being misunderstood. You were really brought-up in other rules. Putting some effort in it, you'll be able to find general principles of coexistence that will suit you both.
Find something you have in common, to begin with. It can be interests or hobbies, learning each other's language, or even better, life principles. Team spirit and brotherhood are inherent in Russians. Slavic people value friendship and mutual support a lot. The idea of friendship is close to frankness and openness (even in personal questions). Such talkativeness becomes a kind of psychotherapy for Russians. In Russia and Ukraine psychotherapy sessions are just becoming popular. Don't be surprised at lady's frankness. If she behaves so, she might expect the same thing from you. Although some women are very shy.
The majority of Slavic women like to dress up. But it doesn't mean that you need to put on something special. For your stay in Russia or Ukraine any casual clothes will do. Are you going to visit some special place and can't decide what to wear? Ask your lady to help you choose.
Answers to questions.
Trust in the lady also in case if you can't find an answer to a tricky question. She'll probably try to help you. Slavic women are helping and caring, although sometimes they can seem straightforward and harsh.
Listen to advice of your bride even if you think it's absurd. You can't know all peculiarities of her fellow countrymen's culture.
It doesn't matter what Russian or Ukrainian city you are in, try to keep your money, documents and valuable things from thieves. Be especially attentive in crowded public places.
Never stop at streets and in places of prizes-for-all lotteries and other similar activities. In many cases the participants of these doubtful "specials" are left without money at the end of the day. Such lotteries often turn out to be a fraud.
Going for a walk along the streets of Russian or Ukrainian city you shouldn't count on politeness and courtesy of drivers. The majority of them obey traffic regulations, but they still pull up before pedestrians rarely when special road signs are absent.
In big Russian or Ukrainian cities you can use the services of car rental. Would you like to rent a car without faults and avoid troubles at payment? Then go to large companies.
Contacts with policemen.
In your bride's country you'll probably pay attention to a great number of policemen at the streets. Unfortunately, communication with them doesn't always bring positive emotions. Minimize your contacts with law enforcement officers and always take ID documents with you.
Meeting with a bride in your country
"Why not invite the lady over to me for further acquaintance", you must have thought at least once. What could be better, it would seem. You don't need to go anywhere. You can do your usual routine stuff when not communicating with the lady. Meeting her in your country you can keep your habitual pace and standard if life. Convenient? Yes. But a lady, coming to your country (all the more in your house), will behave unnaturally, "properly" like a guest. And this fact won't leave you a chance to see lady's real nature as deeply as you could under other conditions.
The situation is often complicated by the peculiar way she sees you and conditions of your living. A lady who travels abroad rarely and is used to seeing men of a certain type around her tends to exaggerate merits of foreigners and living conditions in a foreign country. She may unintentionally overlook your drawbacks and shortcomings. However, the charm of newness can disappear with lady's rose-colored spectacles one day. It would be okay if it happened before marriage. But according to the statistics in a number of cases partners get mutually disappointed in each other when they are already married. She is beautiful in many ways. He is an amazing person. But they just can't live together. The sad result of hasty decisions made under the wrong conditions. You must have seen such situations.
Some ladies lose the ability to see it in real colors just because they get to a foreign country. Sometimes such lady can't even determine the real object they are in love with. Is it a man or a country? What if she wants marry the country by marrying you?
Lady's visit to your country is not only accompanied by psychological problems, but also includes a number of organizational difficulties. Therefore, many grooms prefer going to the lady's country or to neutral territory to meet her.
What difficulties are we talking about? It's very difficult for a lady who wants to go to a Western country to get a tourist or visitor visa. To meet a Slavic woman on your territory you'll have to make her a special fiancee visa. Don't feel like doing it, do you? And besides, will a lady agree to this variant, if she hasn't seen you in real life even once? Doubtfully.
Why not invite her over later, after your visit to her? If you like each other in real life even more than in course of your virtual communication, it will be a more logical, sensible and probably necessary decision to receive the lady in your country. But there is no need to do it in the very beginning of your real relationship. You should also think whether it is worth to put efforts, time and money in making a visa and buying tickets for a person you hardly know. Experience shows that you should do it later – when you both confirm your liking and stop being afraid of fraud.
You have already invited the lady to your country for your first meeting? That's okay. There are a lot of examples when lady's visit to the fiance's territory ended in the best possible way for both of them.
How to behave having the bride over at your house? Where to go with her? How to entertain? Just be yourself and make an entertainment program according to woman's wishes, of course. How much to spend? This question lies outside our competence and completely depends on your financial capacities.
Meeting on a neutral territory
Going to the country that is foreign for you both you equalize your positions in some way. However, if the lady doesn't have a large experience in traveling abroad, while you've traveled a lot, you are in a more favorable position.
People usually meet on a neutral territory when it's impossible for the groom to come to the lady's country. Another reason is a flat refusal of the lady to go to the gentleman. In most cases a man has to buy tickets for a lady at his own cost, because few Slavic women are rich enough for their budget to bear such expenses. But on the other hand there is no need to open a fiancee visa for a date on a neutral territory. That's why some gentlemen prefer dates in other countries to meetings in his home country.
If your bride is financially independent, she'll most probably pay her travel expenses herself. It's the most interesting variant, isn't it? However, a well-to-do Slavic woman is rather an exception than a rule.
Arriving to a foreign country you both face the necessity to get use to new conditions. Another difficulty? Yes. But it's also a positive factor that can make you closer to each other. Just think about it…. You take in the peculiarities of natural culture and population character together. You do the sights together. You solve issues. Together… And then? May be together forever?
Briefly about the important
An average Slavic woman earns a lot less than her Western peer. When going to her you need to know that she won't be able to provide you stunning leisure program, high-class living conditions and special nourishment. Financial aspect of the question will be in you. Even a couple decades ago it wasn't customary in Russian-speaking countries that a lady who came to a restaurant or a club with a man paid for herself. Now this tradition is not that strict as it used to be, but it still exists. Do you like to make a good impression on your lady? Then don't count every cent with an extremely serious air when paying somewhere.
Generally, the attitude to money is rather controversial in Russian-speaking countries. From long ago Slavic population has a popular saying "Money can't buy happiness". This phrase has settled in minds, but everyday life in the country makes people disprove this statement often and often.
Ambivalence of Slavic women towards money may be traced by watching their behavior. On the one hand a lady can spend all her money on dinner in honor of your arrival. On the other, she often expects you to shoulder the greater part of expenses for the period of your mutual pastime. You can meet with the following idea of the woman: "I'm not rich, but I'm proud". In this case she won't let you pay for her. However some women expect that appearance of a man (not necessarily a foreigner) in their life will solve their financial troubles once and for all.
Should or shouldn't there be sex in the beginning of a real communication? Some Slavic women are free of prejudices and easily agree to a sexual contact. Others consider such behavior unacceptable and inadmissible. Remember that Slavic women live in an heir country of the Soviet Union where sex before marriage was publicly censured.
However a high level of sexual freedom has nothing to do with decency if two people really love each other, don't you think so?
What will become a signal for a sexual relationship to start? Maybe your mutual readiness to it.
You didn't like the lady but she shows her readiness to have sex? The temptation is big, but you'd better try to refuse. You shouldn't attach a woman to yourself by sex if you are not going to have a close relationship with her in future. Why do you need unnecessary problems?
Result of the meetings
Did the woman like you? Isn't she playing with you? In the beginning of your real-life communication you'll hardly get an answer to this question. The impression about a person isn't formed at once. Wait a little while and you'll feel how much the lady likes you. And she may happen to tell you about it herself.
But what to do if you got disappointed in the woman after real meetings? You shouldn't hide the truth. Don't postpone unpleasant confessions for a long time. Tell the lady about impossibility of making your relationship closer, but firs prepare yourself for the talk.
Think about positive traits of the lady. Before proclaiming your decision, tell her about them. Don't accuse her of anything. Your position should be: "We can't be together, because I…"
Are you in the woman's country? Then make maximum use of the remaining part of your trip. Visit cultural sights and historical places of the city. By no means always should you cut off your communication with the lady completely. You can keep seeing each other, however not romantically, but just as friends. But it's necessary that she should take your mutual pastime the same way you do.
The lady has come to visit you or you are on a neutral territory? Be a man till the end. Make your lady enjoy the trip, help her see interesting places and have a good time, especially if you speak the language of local population better than she does.
But we hope that you and your lady will like each even more after real meetings. It may happen that someday you'll want to get married and become happy.