Some time ago citizens of the Russian Federation got the opportunity to communicate freely with citizens of other countries. Now they can not only go there for the vacation, but also live there. It resulted in a growing number of international marriages, because Western men often want to marry ladies from Russia and Ukraine.
The reason of such interest of foreigners in relationships with Slavic women is basically clear. Russian, Ukrainian and Belarusian women are attractive, thrifty, friendly, feminine and devoted. Their target is to create and preserve a family. It's interesting, why do such amazing women have to look for husbands outside their home country? We'll explain.
Simple logic says that area of search for somebody extends, if you can't find what you want in close proximity. Failed to meet a good partner or become happy with someone from Russia... Why not pay you attention to potential grooms from the USA, Germany, Italy, England, France, etc.?
At least once in their lives the majority of Russian women thought of marriage with a foreigner. Social vulnerability, material insecurity, household problems, and limited circle of single men – these are the most obvious factors that make ladies look for a husband abroad.
Right after the dissolution of the Soviet Union some women wanted to create families with representatives of other countries just to escape difficulties or to improve their life quality. Nowadays such cases are rarer, but still they remain.
Let it be. Is it an obstacle for marriage? Is it worth paying attention to, if two people really love each other? It's rather a No than a Yes, isn't it?
What do the statistics say?
Workers of one of the largest dating sites conducted a poll featuring over thirty thousand Russian women from 18 to 50 years. It appeared that almost all ladies being in an active search are ready to consider an option of a foreign partner.
Only 15 percent of the respondents think that marriage with a foreigner will provide them a comfortable life. It doesn't matter for 42 percent where to live with a foreigner, if he is loved. Financial question is not their priority. 35 percent of the respondents have never thought about marriage with a foreign partner from the perspective of the prosperity level. They say that the amount of money is not of crucial importance, if you love a man.
When thinking about the character and appearance of a potential groom about 50% of the respondents said that they saw no differences on these parameters between foreigners and their countrymen.
Generally, the research showed that material wealth, life quality, and appearance of foreign men are not choice-determining factors for Russian women.
According to the same poll Russian women expect the representatives of the sterner sex from other countries to treat them better than Russian men. They see their life with foreigners as predictable and quiet. The researchers concluded: it's the character of interpersonal relations that attracts an average Russian lady to foreign men.
Difficulties of choice
It's not that easy for a Russian woman to find a worthy partner in her home country. According to the statistics, men in the country are ten millions fewer than women. Currently there are 100 women for 97 men in Russia. The duration of life of the fair sex is about 13 years longer than that of men. Women die young rarer and almost never go to jail.
Unmarried men are frequently inclined to alcohol or drug addiction. Those without bad habits are usually raised by excessively caring and over-protective mothers. Young men who grew up under conditions of excessive care stay, as a rule, immature even in old age. They would rather get love then give it. Not every woman (especially with a negative marriage experience) is ready to marry an unloving and infantile man, who can't take at least partial responsibility for the relationship, household and children's future. Although Russian women are caring, they still need love, intimacy and understanding as any other person. Every tenth lady faces difficulties when choosing a partner due to the lack of worthy gentlemen.
Another reason of female emigration from Russia and Ukraine is a high level of violence towards women and children. Annually approximately 14-15 thousand Ukrainian and Russian women get killed by their husbands. So, the wish of a woman to find a husband abroad, when at her home country she and her children suffered from beating by a so called head of the family, can hardly be considered strange. By the way, social child support allowance in Ukraine is so scanty that it doesn't suffice even for nourishment.
In some cases a woman decides to marry a foreigner following the example of her friend who has found her happiness outside her home country or on watching special TV video clips describing the opportunities of finding a partner among foreign men. "What if I can do it as well", she thinks. And many of them really manage to enter into international marriage, strong and happy.
What does a Russian woman expect from a relationship with a foreign partner?
There is a range of convictions among Russian-speaking people that make women look for future husbands abroad. A lot of Russian women think that an average foreigner can court a woman properly, show his affection, tends to achieve his full potential not only at work but also in the family circle, and fits in with an image of the Real Man.
It's quite clear that considering the state of affairs a respectable number of young ladies, middle-aged women and ladies well on in years hope to find their happiness establishing a relationship with a foreign gentleman. By the way, what does "happiness" mean for them? What do they expect from a relationship with a foreign partner? It depends mainly on the age.
18 – 24 years old.
Young girls of 18 – 24 in many cases still dream of a Prince Charming and look for an opportunity to make this dream come true. Some of young ladies have been already unsuccessfully married to their countrymen and now pay attention to overseas gallants.
The others who haven't created a family yet consider themselves reckless and daredevils and hope for luck not thinking too much before choosing a foreign bachelor. Some of them want to try and use the chance and not going to take the vows for the whole life.
Sometimes girls are looking for foreign partners listening to the advice of their parents, mothers mainly, who don't see worthy candidates for their beloved daughters. Such mother is usually divorced or unhappily married to a Russian man and so she wants her girl to look for a better life in an international marriage. Girls are usually seeking endless love and hope for the eventful life. Serious and ambitious girls want to get a good education in foreign universities. They and other, more light-minded girls would like to have fun (at least once in a while). That's why a young lady will hardly appreciate a stay-at-home husband preferring to spend his free time in front of TV.
Only a while ago it was customary in Russia to get married in 18-21 years old. The average marriage age just begins to shift towards increase. However, a young Russian girl longing for marriage is not something extraordinary. Why not create a family with a foreigner?
Many Slavic women of 18-24 years old already have experience in marital relationships, some of them have children. If a girl became a mother, she often looks not just for a husband, but also for a father for her kid.
25 – 35 years old.
As a rule, a woman of this age feels the need to give birth to a baby. She is ready for a long-term stable relationship and wants to create a strong, close-knit family. On the other hand she still needs professional evolvement. Some of young ladies aim at the career. Love, children, career… Why not get all of it in another country?
Ladies of 25 – 35 years old often have one or two (rarer more) children. Children are usually little enough to receive mother's foreign partner as a father who can psychologically take the place of a biological one.
When speaking of children it should be mentioned that many Russian fathers due to their infantilism can hardly bear first years of married life after a baby's born. Getting used to having all his wife's attention such person is jealous of her love for the baby. The situation frequently worsens due to financial difficulties leading to quarrels and discord that flare up tension within the family. Divorce often becomes a way out.
A Russian mommy of 25 – 35 years old wants, as a rule, to give her children a good education. A while ago in Russia it was absolutely free and quite proper. Nowadays the level of education drops year by year. However, parents have to pay more and more for textbooks, security, additional courses or tutors. Can a single and not well-to-do mother afford to educate her child in an expensive school? Of course she can't. That's why she, being almost desperate, decides to find her love abroad and thinks that it will also do good to her children.
After watching beautiful foreign films popularizing family values Russian women realize that it's foreigners who can be good fathers, romantic partners and passionate lovers at the same time. And so they are looking for this combination in potential foreign grooms.
36 – 45 years old.
In 36 – 45 years Russian women often expect from their foreign gallants the same things as the ladies of the previous age category. But it happens that on having one-two kids they are not going to get pregnant again. At this point career and orientation of the partners to each other step forward.
Ladies of this age value in men such traits as loyalty, respect to a woman and their incline to "invest" in the relationship.
Ladies of 36 – 45 years old (or a little bit older) go through a sexuality peak and hope that a foreign husband will be active enough, although the needs of different ladies in this context are not the same.
Psychologists say that a so called midlife crisis that all people have (women as well, of course) falls on this period. In its course a woman compares the dreams of her youth with the reality and often finds that achievements are not that big, but losses are. For example, it turns out that:
Having reconsidered her position a lady realizes in a number of cases that her life would have been a lot more positive in another country. And then she decides to use the chance and try to find a husband abroad expecting from him love, support in professional development, cooperation in relationship building, sexual activity and (or) help with problem solving.
Over 45 years old.
Children of an average Russian woman over 45 years old are usually busy with their studies, work and personal life that leave little place for their mother. Many Slavic women consider it their main duty to take care of their families. And when children become self-reliant and self-sufficient a single adult woman feels unwanted und needless at this "life fest".
A new relationship could become a way to overcome the crisis that psychologists symbolically call "young birds leave the nest". A choice of candidates for a partner role among the countrymen is really limited at this age. Male life duration in Russia is not long. And it's difficult for a lady over 45 to find a worthy partner without bad habits in her country. A way out of this situation? Try to look among foreigners.
What do ladies over 45 years old want from foreign partners? Some of them are old and mature enough to stop hoping to change the partner's character and nature. They are aware that they need to take a man as he is and look in a potential husband for ability to compromise and agree. Others see their world view as the only right one and want to find happiness in a relationship with a man having similar beliefs.
The older a person gets, the more health problems he/she has. Thinking about a marriage with a foreigner a lady of 45-50-60 years old can hope that she will restore or improve her health on going abroad.
If a woman had a boring life up to her 45th anniversary, then crossing this line she often means to make up for lost time and wants to travel, lead an active life, and enjoy it. It's clear that she hopes for a partner's support.
Beyond the obvious
A Russian woman has a hard time living in her country. The blame for that is to be laid on difficulties in economic and social spheres. She is tired of many negative moments of her existence. But going to a dating site with a wish to find a partner in a foreigner she looks not for an easy life but for a serious relationship. As a rule she is ready to build it in the man's home country. But at this point real feelings are very important for a lady from Russia or Ukraine.
According to the psychologists the majority of demands made by women on their partners are based on their wish to be loved. Russian ladies who hope to find a future husband in a foreigner need care and affection. That's the way the soul of a Slavic woman is.